Evelyn Lopez

21 YEARS OLD, DAUGHTER OF MEXICO.

Growing Up

My parents separated when I was in elementary school. My mom would work overnight, and throughout the day, so I stepped in and took care of my little sister. My mom would leave containers of food for us, so I’d heat it, do my own homework, and help my sister with hers. My mom didn’t know much English at the time, so I taught myself a lot. I was responsible for helping my sister, and I do still love helping her, even though she’s 18 now. For most of my life, it was just my sister and me alone in the house.

Our parents’ expectations for us vary. When I was younger, my parents were always expecting me to do something that would give us money, whether it was healthcare, or law, anything that would ensure my future ends in good money. Something that would bother me when I was a kid was the same standards not being held for my sister. They didn’t really care which career she did. She wanted to do something artistic or in the arts. It just felt unfair that they had more expectations for me. 

My sister is a freshman in college now, and she’s also on a Pre-Health track. Recently, she told my parents she’s considering switching her major to something in teaching. My parents were supportive. It made me think about my past experiences, especially as a freshman in college, and how many times, until now, I wanted to drop out of Pre-Health because it’s difficult. I was, and still am, so afraid to disappoint my parents. So even now, I really don’t know how to handle the guilt I feel. 

I still see the difference in expectations. They’ll send me anything that they need help with, government things, or mail in general. Sometimes I tell my parents, ‘Why do you send it to just me? My sister’s right here, and she’s 18, she knows what she’s doing too!’ But nothing changes, which makes me feel like they just depend on me.

School and Home

Just recently, I came to terms with the fact that life is not always gonna turn out the way that I wanted it to. Coming to Hunter College has been so difficult, and the school’s Pre-Health department is challenging.

Before I came to Hunter College, I went to Westchester Community College. I’m honest with everyone who asks me why I came to Hunter; I’ll always tell them that it was because of financial reasons. Because I figured that if I was going to go into medicine, medical school, or dental school, I was going to have to take out a lot of loans. And if I’m being honest, my family does not have that money. So I figured it’s better to just go free for undergrad and then take out the loans when I really need them for medical school. I know that for medical school, there’s not a lot of financial help. I’m going to Hunter for free. Private colleges can be like $40,000 a semester and above, and I cannot afford to do that.

I commute from White Plains. Before, being in college while also staying at home would stress me out a lot. It was really just me handling things at home, but now I’m used to it. I can handle both school and home life. I mean, it still does stress me out sometimes, but like I said, with time, I just got used to it, and I kind of learned how to control my feelings and stress.

My mom has a lot of health issues, and that’s something that pushed me into the medical field. She was diagnosed with the beginning stages of what could be cancer and has also had a stroke. Also, a lot of my relatives have diabetes. I have an aunt in Mexico who’s a nurse, and other family members on my dad’s side who are in the medical field. Although I don’t really talk to them, everyone in medicine has inspired me to follow in their footsteps. I wanted to do something different from nursing, and I find dentistry so interesting. 

I’m the social media manager at the Latino Medical Student Association (LMSA) club. We host events targeted for Latino Pre-Health students, but it’s not just limited to them; anyone can join. Sometimes the events aren’t necessarily Pre-Health related. We’ve had bachata, cumbia nights, and other events that help students get distracted from school. You get to meet people, too. We have a connection with Weill-Cornell Medical Center, and medical students from there come to talk with us. It’s a way for Hunter students to get an inside look at what life is like for medical students and to hear their experiences and advice.

LMSA has helped me a lot, find a community as a Latino. Because when I first came here, I felt like one of my worries was that I wasn’t going to be able to find a place where I was going to be comfortable or someone that I could relate to. Coming to Hunter and joining LMSA kind of allowed me to find that comfort. I became friends with the people there. We’re all Latino and going into similar careers. This club has helped me find other people who understand me.

It means a lot to me to represent Mexicans and Mexican Americans in medicine. At least where I live, there’s barely any Latinos. Growing up, I would always have to translate as well when going to doctor appointments. Translating for my mom was tough since I didn’t know what everything they were telling me meant. 

I hope that in the future, I will be able to help little children see themselves in this career and someone who looks like them to ease medical anxiety. I want to be the type of person who helps another person see, “Oh, it’s possible to do this,” or “I’m not alone in this.”

Family Expectations

My parents brag about me to everyone, even when I think I do horribly. But I don’t tell them that. My mom is still stuck on me getting honor roll in middle and high school. She goes around saying, like, ‘My daughter is really smart, she has straight As!’ I’m like, ‘Mom, wait, I’m in college now. That’s not at all like that anymore!’ My dad recently told me that he told one of his co-workers that I am studying biology, and his co-worker’s response was always really good. He told me how proud he is of me. So they’re still flexing me to their friends.

When I was younger, my mom would tell me that I had to be better than her and that I had to show my sister. Now, I find myself telling my sister to be better than me.

Finding Zen

I try to relax. I like to just walk around and take pictures. I found that one of my hobbies, an artistic hobby, is photography. It sounds kind of cringe, but I like to make TikToks, like just randomly. I’m a graphic designer for a lot of the clubs that I’m in — I love art and marketing. I was even thinking at one point to change my major to something like that, but I’ll just take it where I’m at right now.

I’ve disappointed myself a lot. As I said, in middle school and high school, I had good grades, and coming to Hunter, I’m like, ‘Wait, this is not me. These grades aren’t me.’ Right now, I’m living life in its current state and not stressing out so much about the future. Also, I learned that the future is, it’s important, but you can’t think about it all the time. I need to calm down and live in the moment, in the present.

This story has been edited and condensed from an interview.